Abby Embry

I want to begin by introducing myself and sharing how I met Anja. I posted on a local Facebook group about an English-language grief group that I wanted to start. At that point, I had lived in Germany for less than a year and was assisting a local funeral director; I wanted to gauge the interest in an English-speaking group. Unfortunately, the group administrator took my post down very quickly, but it had already been spotted by Anja. Anja messaged me and we began to share our grief stories with one another. While shopping one day in Aldi, Anja heard someone speaking English. She looked around and saw me there with my husband. She asked "Abby?" and I believe I said "Anja?" — and from then on we were fast friends.

Anja tended to my heart by offering me an opportunity to bring my grief story into a new community, in a new country. At that time, my confidence was low and I felt awkward in everything I did after making this big life change — moving to Germany to marry my German fiancé. I sometimes felt alone and disconnected from the communities around me, but I longed to find connection and friendship. Anja invited me to make remembrance stars for a community Christmas display.

On a clay star, I stamped the name of my baby boy Griffin, who lived for two days after birth and died in 2012 due to a congenital heart condition. On another star I stamped the name Adam, my older brother, who died suddenly at age 43 in 2020 due to complications related to his four-year battle with cancer treatments. On my last star I stamped the name Bill, my adoptive father, who died at 63 in 2015 due to an aggressive brain tumor.

Writing that last paragraph was not easy, and I imagine reading it was not comfortable either. But I share it to show you what I carry in my heart every day, and the real-life wisdom I gathered during these grief storms, which hit my family so incredibly hard.

Anja helped me to honor them in a new place, on a new continent. I know Bill and Adam would be so proud of me. I feel Griffin is always with me — my baby who experienced more love in two days than I could hope to have in a lifetime. As Anja and I got to know each other more, we discovered we shared the same passion for helping those who are grieving. We also discovered we have the same dream: to create a space where people could gather together to learn from one another about this deeply human experience, while feeling safe, comfortable, and empowered in their story.

After Griffin's death, I went back to graduate school to earn my Master of Divinity degree to become a clinical chaplain. I wanted to serve people in their most difficult times, as the hospital chaplain had been there for us. I worked for 10 years in hospices in Kentucky and Virginia, and every day was truly an honor. In 2020, I began leading grief groups while working at Hospice House of Williamsburg in Virginia. One group was conducted virtually due to COVID restrictions and is still running six years later. I also led seasonal 8-week groups in my office with fewer than 10 people at a time, so I feel confident in leading groups and using technology to reach people in whatever way makes them feel most comfortable.

In 2014, in order to further my credentials as a chaplain, I attended a course called Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE), which required me to work in a setting where I had opportunities to offer pastoral care. I chose my church at the time for my placement, in Berea, Kentucky. CPE taught me to minister to my church family in groups, through home visits, and in nursing homes as well. This is where I discovered my love of listening. In CPE, I was taught to "story listen," which means I learned to draw out possible deeper metaphors and meanings when someone shares a story — to listen not only at a superficial level, but at a level closer to the heart, where pain and joy often sit. I also learned the humility to acknowledge what I don't know.

Only you are the expert of your own existence, but I did learn the skills to help you explore it. My hope is to make myself available for you to tell your story, to think about what defines you, what doesn't define you, and to sketch out a future in which you have been shaped by — but not lost in — your grief.

Services:

One-on-One Grief Counseling in-person, virtual, or by phone

Interfaith Spiritual Coaching

Education:

Master of Arts: Divinity
Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary—Louisville, KY

1 Unit Clinical Pastoral Education

St. Matthews Pastoral Counseling Center—Louisville, KY

Bachelor of Arts: Religion; Religious Thought and Ethics
Berea College—Berea, KY

abby@laurasnest.de

text or call +1 (859) 979-1745 or +49 163 7000128